She was 17, dating some punk of the same age. The punk had a short rap sheet of petty crimes and criminal acts of idiocy. Typical adolescent bad boy attraction. Rebellion against an inattentive father. Her story: they argued. He punched her three times in the face and kicked her in the gut. She ran away and got in another guy’s car.
The other guy was a 21-year-old “friend.” A chump who always saved the damsel in distress, but never got rewarded for his efforts. A sap with a tear-stained shoulder and a box of never used, never will be used condoms. Captain Save-A-Ho.
Captain Save-A-Ho drove Jail Bait off into the horizon. On the other side of the horizon was my club. They came seeking sanctuary. Save-A-Ho was a regular. I’d never seen Jail Bait around. I inspected her face and her midsection, which was exposed thanks to a skimpy tube top. No bruises. No swelling. No footprint on her gut. Not a fucking scratch. I pulled Save-A-Ho to the side: “I can’t have this jail bait in my joint. Take her to her parents.”
Save-A-Ho tried to explain to me why it would be better to stash the broad in my club. I half listened, watched the broad text messaging non-stop. She took a phone call. Jail Bait covered her mouth while speaking, kept her voice low. I heard: “Is he with her right now?” followed by, “Fucking bastard.”
Moments later, Jail Bait got off the phone, then demurely asked Save-A-Ho, “Can you drive me to the police station?” She wanted to make a report of domestic battery. Put a case on the punk.
They thanked, waved, drove away. I chuckled.
Poor Save-A-Ho. The sap was blind, unable to connect the dots: Jail Bait and Punk were on the outs. Punk found himself a new broad. Jail Bait got jealous, confronted Punk. An argument ensued. Jail Bait stormed away. Later, upon hearing that Punk was with the new chick, Jail Bait decided that revenge would be a false police report.
Facts undigested by Save-A-Ho: the hole in his back window and the lack of injuries on Jail Bait indicated that Punk, while guilty of vandalism, was innocent of battery. Save-A-Ho was an unwitting accessory to Jail Bait’s connivance. He wasn’t a hero. He was a tool.
Tags: domestic violence · nightclub · relationships
Michello
03/05/2008
Dumb anal pore!
Iron Pugilist
03/06/2008
I would like to meet this jailbait. I’ve played this game before with underaged girls. Not that I’ve done anything unsavory.
lordmanilastone
03/06/2008
Smartly written as usual…^^
suki
03/06/2008
i had to re-read. it’s very well-written.
poor save-a-ho.
alice
03/06/2008
As sad as this all is - what seems to be even sadder is the fact that people can be so easily pegged. The stereotypes persist because of the truth they are derived from. That people often fall in these cracks of a “typical” type goes to show a sheep mentality. I hope he realizes what a sap he’s being taken for without coming out jaded from the situation. As crappy as this situation is gonna turn out for him, guys like him are awesome. Poor guy.
alice
03/06/2008
As sad as this all is - what seems to be even sadder is the fact that people can be so easily pegged. The stereotypes persists because of the truth they are derived from. Poor guy.
Swubird
03/06/2008
As always, your imagination is amazing. And I am so envious of your ability to conceive and tell these interesting bits of stories.
I’ve read your material for several months now, and I’ve decided to add your site to my blogroll.
Have a nice day.
70steen
03/07/2008
beautifully written as always K.
People in these types of relationships really get my back up. Everything to them is a sad game,they care not who else they drag in along the way and whether they hurt them, they are just so selfish….. you see them daily on Jeremy Kyle (I guess Jerry Springer over at your place)
clay lowe
03/07/2008
i dig your stories.
maybe you can clue save-a-ho in some time.
c
lakota
03/07/2008
i love the name Captain save-a-ho! Gave me a fit of giggles this morning. I know - i’m bad and not paying attention. sorry… not really. ~smooches~
Iron Pugilist
03/07/2008
Is it just me or have the titles changed?
offendedblogger
03/07/2008
Stupid bitch isn’t worth Captain Save-A-Ho’s time.
He should be trying to save the whales.
Or trying to free Tibet.
Cara Hurley
03/08/2008
Hello
Tara
03/10/2008
*shakes head* Oi. I’m amazed that you see these kind of people on a regular basis. I’m glad I don’t, otherwise, I think I’d be the one throwing the punches around for being around morons and indecent people.
saboonjin
03/11/2008
did u change the title or something? hmm.. such a young lady with such wicked intentions, i hope she doesn’t grow up to be any worse.
hammy
03/12/2008
Excellent writing!
Well, I know a lot of tools like these. Possibly, I have been a tool myself for some occasions. But human tools should still be able to think for themselves. They should know exactly what they are doing; what they are being used for…
It is ok to want to help. But they have to gauge the situation correctly first.
Swubird
03/13/2008
Reminds me of someone I used to know.
suki
03/18/2008
where are you? :/
Iron Pugilist
03/21/2008
Yo updates, bro… please.
70steen
03/22/2008
where have you gone Kimi??