Recently, a good buddy of mine and I were discussing world events, especially all of the religious madness going on these days. We spoke about the proliferation of Islam, and about how some say that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world.

My friend theorized that the reason Islam is growing so fast is because Christians don’t know how to sell their religion. After all, there are Muslim extremists out there that are telling young converts that if they become a suicide bomber and take out a bunch of Jews or Christians, they’ll be rewarded. They’ll die, of course (which really sucks). But in exchange, they’ll get hooked up with 72 virgins in the afterlife. Compare that with the Christian offer of an afterlife of chilling out with some old white guy with a long white beard.

Perhaps these zany evangelical Christians (who keep popping up where they’re not wanted) need to come up with a more compelling offer than the one being offered up by their extremist Muslim competitors. They need a better pitch.

The zany evangelical Christians could double the offer in some really slick infomercials (”The competitors are offering 72 virgins. We’re going to double that offer!”). For sure, they’re going to need a special bonus for those that call right away (”But wait! Call now, and you’ll also receive this added bonus!”). And, of course, they’ll need to offer a free gift, just for trying their product (”Yours to keep, absolutely free!”).

Now, all they’d need is a pitch man. My vote is for Tom Vu. The girls in his infomercials didn’t look all that virginal, but they sure did help sell his product!

Tags: christianity · infomercials · islam · religion · tom vu